Self-sabotage. The first thing I think of is that spiderman meme when Spiderman is pointing at another Spiderman. Our habits, thoughts, feelings, and reads on situations can so often get in the way of our goals, dreams, and desires. I know for so many years I made situations hard (and even impossible) because of the way I handled it.
I’m not a stranger to self-sabotage and like anything I’m continuing to learn every day how to be kinder to myself so let’s talk about some of the lessons I’ve learned along the way when it comes to getting out of my own way and moving forward without self-sabotage.
Put a stop to that inner mean girl
If you read that and immediately resonated. Girrrl, you’ve got some work to do. That inner mean girl, well she is mean. And let’s talk about what that dialogue can do when left unchecked. It can stop you from seizing opportunities, it can stop you from loving yourself, and it can stop you from achieving your goals. That is a high price to pay for unchecked thoughts. The first step to telling your inner mean girl to kick rocks? Witness her.
Give her a name and start to really pay attention to the things she says. If you find ( and I think you might) that she isn’t providing any helpful, constructive perspectives my suggestion would be to take any further commentary with a grain of salt. It’s hard but over time you will realize her voice isn’t echoing in your head quite like it used to.
Become your own biggest fan
When you think of your biggest fan who comes to mind? That person, the way they comfort you, root for you and celebrate you- that is how you have to start treating yourself. Now, I’m not talking about going to the extent of the way Kanye loves Kanye, but it is that same idea. You need to be able to believe and trust yourself to be able to move through life and achieve the dreams you set out for.
Take small steps no matter what
In certain situations, self-doubt or sabotage can make procrastination feel like the best option. That voice in your head starts running wild and you decide not to do that thing you said you were going to do. I used to fall into this pattern all the time. I’m grateful to say that I no longer find myself procrastinating because I don’t believe in myself or because I think something is too hard. The way I’ve done this is to trust the process. Things don’t have to be great on it’s first iteration, allow them to take their time and take shape as they may. Trust the process and yourself to figure it out.
Find trusted people who can help you to push through when times are tough.
Everyone needs that person when times get rough they are there to keep a level head while you run around with your head cut off screaming the sky is falling. This person will help reel you in when you’ve gone off the deep end. They will help you from falling too far down that rabbit hole. Cherish that person and lean on them so that you when you’re too far gone to bring yourself back to a safe-zone they can do it for you.
Self-sabotage is something most of us encounter as we navigate through it all and while it may seem insignificant the effects of having it come up in small ways consistently can play a big part in your life over time. Finding ways to stop this habit as it arises will make all the difference as you strive towards your boss-lady lifestyle.